“It’s probably just growing pains…”- Why children’s pain deserves to be taken seriously

Many parents hear it at some point.

“Kids bounce back.”
“They’re just sensitive.”
“It’s probably anxiety.”
“They’ll grow out of it.”

And yet, for many tamariki, pain doesn’t simply fade away.

Paediatric pain is real, common, and often dismissed, even by well-meaning adults. When children’s pain is brushed off or delayed, it can quietly shape their confidence, emotions, school life and wellbeing far more than we realise.

At Nurture Paediatrics, we believe children are maurea, unique treasures. Their pain experiences matter. And early, supportive care can make a real difference.

Paediatric pain is more common than most people realise

Large international studies now show that around 1 in 5 children live with ongoing or persistent pain.

This pain can affect:

• Muscles and joints

• Tummies and headaches

• Injuries that don’t seem to settle

• Pain after illness or medical procedures

• Pain with no clear injury at all

Research from Australasia found that many children with persistent pain:

• Miss school regularly

• Stop playing sport or being active

• Have poor sleep

• Feel anxious, low or isolated

Pain doesn’t just hurt physically. It interrupts childhood.

Children’s pain is often dismissed, and that causes harm

One of the most confronting findings from recent reports is how often children are not believed.

In a national survey of children and families:

• Over half were told their pain was “growing pains”

• Many were told it was “normal” or “just anxiety”

• Around two thirds waited years for answers, or never received a clear explanation at all

This doesn’t happen because adults don’t care.
It happens because we are still catching up with what science now understands about pain.

Pain is not “all in the body” or “all in the head”

Modern pain science is clear.

Pain is created by the nervous system, not just by injured tissue.

That means:

• Pain is always real, even when scans are normal

• Emotions, stress, safety, past experiences and learning all influence pain

• Pain is shaped by development, relationships and environment

This is especially important for children.

A child’s brain and nervous system are still developing. They are learning:

• How pain feels

• What pain means

• How to respond to pain

• How others respond to their pain

In other words, pain is partly learned.

This does not mean children are making it up.
It means their nervous system is doing its best to protect them, sometimes too well.

The emotional side of pain is learned too

Children learn about pain from:

• Adults’ reactions

• Language used around pain

• School, sport and healthcare experiences

• Whether pain is believed or dismissed

If pain is ignored, rushed, or treated as something to “push through”, children may learn:

• To fear movement

• To hide pain

• To feel unsafe in their body

• That their experience doesn’t matter

Over time, this can increase pain sensitivity and distress.

The good news?
Pain can also be relearned in safer, more helpful ways.

Why delaying care matters

Waiting and hoping pain will settle can sometimes work.

But when pain:

• Persists beyond expected healing

• Interferes with school, sleep or play

• Leads to fear of movement

• Affects mood or confidence

Delaying support can allow pain patterns to become more established.

Early, child-centred intervention helps:

• Reduce fear

• Build confidence in movement

• Support emotional regulation

• Prevent pain from becoming entrenched

This is why we gently say:
Don’t brush it off. Don’t wait until it’s “bad enough”.

How Nurture Paediatrics supports children with pain

At Nurture Paediatrics, we take a whole-child, whole-whānau approach to pain care.

We help children:

• Understand what pain is in age-appropriate ways

• Learn that pain does not always mean harm

• Rebuild confidence in their body

• Develop skills to calm and regulate their nervous system

• Return to movement, play, school and sport at a safe pace

We work alongside whānau, not above them.

Our approach is:

• Strengths-based

• Evidence-informed

• Culturally safe

• Focused on participation and daily life, not just symptoms

Pain education is a key part of what we do. When children understand their pain, it often becomes less frightening and more manageable.

Helping children build lifelong pain skills

Pain is part of being human.

Scraped knees. Growing bodies. Injuries. Big feelings. Stress. Loss.

We cannot remove all pain from our children’s lives.
But we can help them learn how to understand pain, respond to it, and feel safe in their bodies.

These skills don’t just help now.
They support resilience for life.

A gentle message to parents

If your child’s pain has been dismissed before, you are not alone.

If you’ve been told to wait and see, it makes sense you feel unsure.

Trust your instincts. Your child’s experience is real.

You don’t need to wait until things are unbearable.
You don’t need to have all the answers.

We’re here to walk alongside your whānau.

Ready to learn more?

You can read more about our child-centred pain support here:
👉 https://nurturepaeds.co.nz/pain-management

Or get in touch to talk about what’s been happening for your child.

Together, we can help your child understand pain, rebuild confidence, and feel more at ease in their body again.